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70% of pastors do not have a close friend, confidant, or mentor 🚨
Why giving ourselves guardrails is critical to avoid moral failure
We’ve all seen a headline or two (or 20) announcing the moral failure of a pastor, priest, or other prominent church leader.
We’re not here to condemn and bear down on specific names, but the truth of the issue cannot be ignored: There is a lack of healthy accountability and support for church leaders.
The fact that nearly 40% of pastors have had an extramarital affair since entering ministry shouldn’t be normal, but it is. The fact that 80% of pastors and 85% of their spouses feel discouraged in their roles should not be a given when working in ministry.
7,000 churches close in America every year, and it’s not because God has gone anywhere. It’s us.
When faced with these numbers it can feel hopeless to try and repair how we operate in our places of worship.
But God has called us into unity and community with fellow believers for a reason — we need each other to stay true to what the Lord desires for us.
How can we set up the proper guardrails to avoid moral failure and, as a result, reduce or eliminate the shrapnel of such wrongdoings hitting our loved ones and closing church doors?
Guardrails and how they support accountability
Leading a church is a heavy responsibility to bear. So heavy it can sometimes cause the one carrying that weight to stumble to the side and even go off the tracks entirely if not properly cared for.
When we are intentional and consistent with the guardrails we build for ourselves in the form of trusted advisors, friends, family, and even church boards, we reduce the risk of falling into temptation.
Setting those boundaries first means admitting that we need them. Not out of guilt or shame or fear, but out of an acknowledgment that we are human and so are flawed and prone to making mistakes.
To do that, we must open ourselves to forming mentorships — no matter where we are in life — and allowing others to grow close to us to better guide us as we strive to best serve God.
Pastors should not be islands.
The more isolated we are, the more likely we are to stumble in our minds and deeds. It’s easy to convince ourselves we have everything under control when there is no one (besides God) checking our actions.
Guardrails are about protecting you from yourself.
Why moving past the discomfort of being imperfect is paramount
There is a temptation to have a “that would never happen to me” or “I would never do that” type of mindset when we see those headlines of pastors who have had a moral failure.
That’s where the devil likes to play.
Keep in mind that those pastors probably thought similar things at one point or another. We can almost guarantee they did not set out in their ministries to be unfaithful to their spouse, abuse their power, or practice any other type of immoral behavior.
When we scoff at these stories and consider ourselves above such low actions, we give Satan a challenge. He can use pride just as well as he can use greed or lust.
Accepting we’re capable of making mistakes isn’t a weakness, it shows humility and even strength.
Action Items:
1. Implement legitimate governance
If you as the senior pastor can make all the decisions without anybody else — no override, no check, and no protection — that's not legitimate governance.
If all the voices in your boardroom are always green lights all the time, you don't have any accountability.
That doesn't mean it's immoral, but it won’t protect you from yourself. When all the temptations are there before you without any filters besides your own opinion and view, it’s that much simpler to step into moral failure.
2. Perform a full 360 survey
A full 360 is a survey an impartial third party — typically a psychologist — conducts with the people closest to you and your lead team where they ask a bevy of questions to you, and then your team, and once the responses are collected, you can see first hand where your blind spots may be.
The places where the answers don’t line up are likely where you need to do some inner work and reflection.
Now, this is not the most fun exercise to perform, but after the initial shock (or even anger) wears off, you may begin to see that there is truth in what they say.
3. Lean into collaboration across the board
The more your leadership team feels comfortable contrasting your opinion with diverse perspectives and hashing out ideas collaboratively, the less likely you’ll end up in an echo chamber.
Encourage healthy debate and discussion when deciding on new policies, directions, and more.
Though it makes sense for a senior pastor to have more weight to their words, that does not mean other ideas and perspectives should not be heard and considered.
That type of collaboration is how we stay accountable and on track in our mission of living out God’s will for us.